Hello.

I have been thinking about the ol' family blog lately...and realizing that it's been largely silent for months now.  I guess that grief has been a quiet and personal journey for me.  Maybe I am also aware of that fact that no one reads my blog now that my mom is in Heaven!  {grin - although, I think my friends Sarah and Jodi read from time to time}  Then I remembered that this blog is for me, to record the seasons of my family life, to have a permanent memory available when my own fails me.  So, I am back at it.  I am going to do my best to blog weekly, even if it's about the ridiculous or mundane, I will blog.  I just need to get back in the habit...so, I will begin slowly and stretch those "bloggy" muscles at least once a week.

While the blog has been silent, our house has certainly not!  Most days, it's a loud and lovely flurry of activity around here.  Our boys are growing...in stature and in faith.  They consume more food than I ever thought humanly possible for someone their size.  Brad is plugging along in his PhD program - set to finish his classroom portion this May.  Oh happy day!  {grin}  Then, he will move on to the comprehensive exams...sounds like torture to me.  He spends his days with Dr. Witherington and I spend my days with Dr. Suess...and then we spend out evenings together.  Ahh...it's a good life.  I am super proud of Brad's hard work as a student and equally proud of his work as an instructor.  He works diligently to teach and serve his students.  It's a ministry for sure, and Brad has been faithful in it.

I will be making a mad dash to Indiana tomorrow to spend the day going through some of my parent's things.  I am praying that it will be comforting to be surrounded by memories of them.  However, I am also fully expecting it to be an incredibly emotional day, as well.  I miss them both.  It's overwhelming at times.  It's really strange, in fact.  I am an adult (a middle-aged adult even!  ACK!) and haven't depended on my parents to provide for me physically or financially in many years...but, their deaths have left me feeling "orphaned" in some way.  It sounds odd, I know.  Their deaths have changed the landcape of my extended family and the way we do life together.  We are figuring it out as we go along...and God continues to prove Himself faithful.  What a gift. 

So, I will do my best to remember that this blog is for me and my family...to record our memories and God's goodness as we journey along.  However, if you happen to read - leave a comment so that I know I am not alone. 

More.

Calvin Lee “Bud” Sherrow, 70, of Hagerstown went home to Heaven on November 16, 2011.  

 He was born January 7, 1941 in Richmond, Indiana to Joseph Sherrow and Betty (Sherrow) Parrett. 

Bud earned his GED and went on to serve in the United States Army.  He served overseas and had fond memories of his time spent in Germany and Korea.  Following his service to his country, he returned to Richmond.  He worked at Kemper Cabinet Company for nearly 38 years, retiring in 2003.

Bud married Judy Hunter Sherrow on October 7, 1967 and welcomed three children into their family.  Bud was a loving husband, father, and grandfather.  He was a loyal brother, uncle, and friend.  Bud was happiest spending time with his family, making memories with his grandchildren, reading, and gardening.

Bud is survived by his children: Jeff (Laura) Sherrow of Hagerstown, Tony Sherrow of Richmond, and Christina (Brad) Johnson of Wilmore, KY;   his nine grandchildren: Ashley Sherrow, Morgan Kincaid, Zackery, Grace, and Lillee Sherrow, Sam, Luke, Caleb and Matthew Johnson.  Also surviving are his siblings: Harriet Clark of Franklin, IN, Charlie Parrett (Carol) of Richmond, and Carl Parrett (Sandy) of Richmond.  He also leaves an aunt, several cousins, nieces, and nephews.    He was preceded in death by his wife, his parents, his stepfather, Ed Parrett; his sisters, Joan Clapp, Carol Simpson, and Brenda Riddle; and his grandsons Dylan Sherrow and Austin Sherrow. 

A celebration of Bud’s life will be held at First United Methodist Church at 318 National Road West in Richmond on Saturday, November 19^th at 10:00 am.  In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Gleaners Food Bank at 3737 Waldemere Ave. Indianapolis, IN 46241 or www.gleaners.org.

This is my dad's obituary that will appear in our hometown newspaper.  The words are all accurate and true...but very inadequate.  He was much more than the information contained in those paragraphs.  

I have been thinking about how by "worldly" standards, my dad lived a pretty unremarkable life.  Aside from his military travels, he lived and died in the county where he was born.  He got married to a nice girl, raised three kids, worked at the same job for 38 years...nothing really "exceptional" about his life - in fact, he would seem to be a very ordinary guy.  

However, what most folks don't know is that my dad really was extraordinary.  He and my mom were the most generous people I have ever known.  While they were never wealthy - they always gave as if they were.  Honestly, I can remember my folks giving/loaning money to people my entire life.  My mom was always volunteering my dad to do things - like delivering Christmas gifts/dinner to someone who had none, helping to fix someone's leaky sink who couldn't afford to pay a plumber, restoring an old bicycle to give to a little neighbor girl who didn't have one, driving my grandmother to play bingo with her friends (grin), fixing someone's car or furnace, and he even helped to paint my mother-in-law's home.  My dad's heart was broken when our childhood friend's young son died of SIDS...the only child and apple of his parent's eyes.  They wanted to donate all of his things.  They gathered up his crib, his toys, his clothes...and my dad went to pick them up and deliver them to the donation site.  He told me about how sad he was for the young parents and how difficult it was to see all of the things that this little guy should have used for a long time to come.  

My dad was much more than a blue collar guy from Indiana...he was a care-giver, he was an encourager, he was a story-teller, he was decent, he was loyal, he was a good man, he was the most patient person I have ever known, he was a very attentive grandfather - he really knew his grandchildren, he was amazing.  He was more than just an "ordinary man" - he was my dad.

Silent.

My blog has been silent for the past few months.  Not because I lack things to write about, rather there is too much going on in my heart, my mind, my life...words don't come easily.  However, sleep wouldn't come easily tonight...and words seem to.

My dad had a heart attack in June.  I got the phone call that no one wants to receive from my oldest brother in the early hours of the morning.  I packed a bag and made the drive to Indiana.  Ten months after my mom's sudden death, I found myself in another hospital room.  Listening to the sounds of monitors, watching the blinking of lights on machines that were delivering medications, and did my best to take in what was really happening. 

Later that afternoon, I met with my dad's cardiologist.  He shared the ultrasound images of my dad's heart.  It was not good news.  I listened as he gently explained that the damage was severe, that blockages had gone undetected, and then he stopped.  He collected his thoughts and then went on to tell me that my dad's case was very different than any he had seen before.  My dad's heart was severely enlarged - not a normal symptom related to the heart blockages.  The doctor asked if my dad had experienced any traumatic emotional event in the past few months.  I felt my throat tighten and my eyes began to burn...I could feel the tears coming.  I explained that my mom had died earlier that year.  He told me that my dad was probably suffering from Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy or "broken heart syndrome" in addition to the other cardiac issues.  He smiled and said, "Your dad must have really loved your mom."  He mapped out what the next few days would look like...tests to be run, meds to be administered, and questions to be answered.  It was all just the beginning of a long journey.

After a week long hospital stay, my dad was released.  The docs told us that he was gravely ill and would most likely not survive a month.  The next few months would bring a decreased appetite and dramatic weight-loss, the placement of a permanent pacemaker/defibrillator, changes in his diet, and incredible fatigue.  The lack of energy seemed to bother him most.  We determined to take advantage of the time we had with him.  He shared time between his home in Indiana and our house here in Kentucky.  Making lots of memories with his grand kids, having really rich conversations about the past and the future, and just loving one another.  What a tremendous gift God had given us.

Nearly five months later, we find ourselves at another crossroads.  The hospice nurse tells us that he will most likely meet Jesus in just a matter of days now.  I find myself so thankful that his suffering will end and the joy will begin...but, my heart is also filled with sadness.  I will miss him. 

Although I am overwhelmed, I know that God is with me.  He loves me.  He is able to bear my burden.  He will carry me.

"The Lord your God goes with you; 

He will never leave you nor forsake you."  

Deuteronomy 31:6

 

Sweet Gift from Heaven

Today is my birthday.  I am not really certain exactly why I have been missing my mom more than usual today...I mean, other than the obvious fact that she gave birth to me.  {grin}  I guess few people get as excited about your birthday to the degree that your mom does.  I have just been missing her...wishing I could talk with her or work on some "project" around the house together or just sit and delight in my little boys as they play.  My day has been full of blessings.  Sweet hugs and birthday wishes from my little boys, tender kisses from my biggest boy, and cards from dear friends arriving in the mail.  I just miss my mom.

After picking Luke up from school {he is in a half-day kindergarten program}, we needed to make a quick trip to get some dog food for Rocky.  On our way home from the store, Matthew and I had the following conversation:
Matthew:  Mommy, I am sad.
Me:  Why are you sad, buddy?
Matthew: Because I miss my Gran. {whimpering}
Me: Oh, sweet boy, I miss her,too. 
Matthew:  I want to hug her.  Do you want to hug her, Mom?  {wiping tears from his sweet cheeks}
Me: I sure do, Matthew.  If Gran were here with us, she would want to hug us, too.  Maybe we will feel better if we hug each other.  Do you want me to hug you when we get home?
Matthew:  Yes!  Is Gran in Heaven, Mom?
Me:  Yes, she is Matthew.  She is having a wonderful time there.  No one ever gets sad, or sick, or scared.  It's such a great place, no one ever cries. 
Matthew:  Is she with God and Jesus?
Me:  Yes, she  is.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to be with God and Jesus?
Matthew:  Oh, yes!  I want to be with God and Jesus in Heaven.  What is Gran doing in Heaven?
Me:  Oh, she is singing songs about how wonderful God is...she is singing with her friends, with all kinds of other people who love God.
Matthew:  {very excitedly}  I want to sing songs with God and Jesus!  I want to do that after I am old and I die and go to Heaven.  That would be great!  I will sing with Gran, too!
Me:  That sounds wonderful, Matthew.  What a special gift to be with God and everyone else you love in Heaven one day.  I want to be there with you, too.
Matthew:  Yes, Mom!  And Daddy, and Sam, and Luke, and Cal.  We will all be singing in Heaven. 

So, that is how my Mom managed to give me a gift on my birthday...reminders of the sweet promise of Heaven spoken from my sweet three-year-old's heart.  Thank you, Mom.  I love you, too. {grin}

This photo was taken on Caleb and Matthew's second birthday...January 25, 2010 (incorrect date on photo)

Quiet Time

The title of the blog post makes me giggle a bit.  It's not often quiet at my house.  It seems that my boys are gifted in physical movement and volume...in other words, they are always on the move and always making noise of some sort.  The little cuties can't help themselves.  They are practicing being brave, bold, adventurous, and fierce protectors...defeating "bad guys" and "big bad wolves" at every turn.

So, in the midst of the madness at the Johnson home...this momma's heart seeks a little bit of "quiet" each day.  I need some quiet....an opportunity to think....or complete a task without interruption...or just to "be"...and if I am being completely honest, I'd just like to go to the bathroom alone.  {snicker}  The days are long and sometimes difficult.  I often run out of patience before my little men run out of energy or questions to be aanswered.  My work is often undone before I am fully able to enjoy it...you know, like when the freshly mopped floor is immediately marked with little muddy footprints.  Thankfully, I am wise enough to know that these are some of the sweetest days of my life.  Full of blessings like:  chubby little hands that want to hold mine, sweet little voices to tell me that they love me, mischievous little grins and twinkly eyes, and hugs that melt my heart and cause me to fall in love with them all over again.    

The kind of quiet I need is not just "alone" time.  As a matter of fact, I need to be with Jesus so desperately.  Time with Him restores my soul, rejuvenates my heart, stirs up His love within me again, and helps me to find some perspective.  My time with Jesus gives "shape" to my life.  It brings peace in the midst of the madness.

I have been in the habit of having this "appointment" with Jesus for years, now.  I don't want to age myself, but...for over 20 years now I have sought out this time with Jesus.  Over the years, this "appointment" has taken many different forms.  There have been times of tremendous learning - when God was showing me things in scripture that profoundly affected me and shaped my heart.  There have also been "desert" times...when my heart was hurt or my mind was too full to focus.

When our first son was born, I was learning to mother and balance a full plate of responsibilities.  With the addition of each child, it became more of a struggle to keep all of the balls I was juggling in the air!  During this season of my life I was far too "legalistic" about my quiet time with Jesus.  It was as if my time with Him was just another "thing" on my to-do-list for the day.   If the day was nearly gone and I hadn't "gotten it in" - I would flip my Bible open and read anything...and try to find some sort of applicable nugget of truth...then close in prayer.  Ahh...the satisfaction of another "thing" accomplished.  I had to learn the hard way that it was my pride at work - I wanted to be a "good christian" and having a daily quiet time was part of what good christian people do.   gulp.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  I was so focused on accomplishing the goal that I didn't allow room for being authentic, for allowing the Holy Spirit to move, or for trusting God's love and not trying to "earn" His approval (or the admiration of others, for that matter).  It was a pride issue...one I had to die to. 

 With the addition of each little blessing into our family...my rigidity in quiet time became more apparent.  I was scrambling to keep it all together...and it was all seeming to fall apart.  {grin}  So how does a mom of four young children find time to be quiet?  I love the days when I manage to muster the energy to get my keister (is that really a word) out of bed before my little ones arise to spend some time talking to God and digging into the Word.  However, my  children are very early risers so this doesn't happen as often as I'd like.  Most of the time, my quiet time happens late at night...after everyone is in bed and my house is silent.  Usually, I have a few books I am reading...I always spend time praying (I have kept a prayer journal for years - it helps me to see and remember God's faithfulness)...and I always read scripture (if I am not doing a more formal Bible study book).  Every day, I am praying (often just to make it through the day).  When our first son was born, a dear friend shared this sweet promise...and it  has been such a comforting word to my weary-momma heart.


"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
   He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
   he gently leads those that have young."  Isaiah 40:11

What a sweet thought that God knows and understands the challenges that face "those that have young" and He is so kind to be "gentle" with them.  He knows I need to be led gently!  Little stolen moments with the Lord throughout the day are my "fuel" and provide some sanity and levity to my days.  We usually have a "Praise Dance Party" after lunch.  It's simply a matter of crankin' some praise music the kiddos like and dancing around the kitchen.  I am amazed at how restorative it is for all of us.  It's hard to be cranky or unkind when you are singing God's praises.  {grin}  Above all, many years of having a quiet time with God have taught me much...I am loved much, I have grown much, I have been given much and I can trust Him fully.  What an amazing thought that  the creator of the universe longs to be with me...and I desperately need to be with Him, too.  Having quiet time with Him makes me a better wife, a better momma, and a woman growing in grace and wisdom.   
Thanks, Jodi, for inviting me to join the conversation about quiet times.  You can find some more perspectives here.

A four boy pile-up in the hallway makes for one of my favorite pictures.  {grin}

  

Life.

If the boys didn't sleep...I don't think I would blog at all!  The days seem to be so full and I have more duties than energy to complete them.  This is the story of every mom's life, right? {grin}

  

The day seems to go by in a whirlwind of activity.  Then, when the boys are all in bed and the house is quiet...I collapse into a heap on the couch.  If I am fortunate, my hubby sits next to me and we watch something mindless on TV and chat about the events of our day. 

     Brad has been working in the evening...trying to keep up with the many classes he is teaching this semester and ministering to his students.  The house is a mess.  The toys strewn about the house are evidence of a hard day's work by our little boys.  The messy kitchen is evidence of a meal prepared with love and shared around the table by our tribe.  There is a pile of books near the rocking chair in our living room...further evidence of how this momma spent her afternoon.  Sam has a new chapter book from the library resting on the table near the couch...evidence of the independent reader he has become.  The evidence is everywhere....they are signs of life in this place.  This is what makes this house our home.   

     The pace of life is hectic...but, so incredibly rich.  We're blessed.  Brad has a job that he has been called to and he enjoys his work.  He is blessed to work with some amazing colleagues and students who challenge and inspire him.  We're parents to four healthy, happy, rambunctious little boys who are growing in stature and in faith.  The laundry is never done, the kitchen is always littered with dirty dishes and crumbs on the floor, and there are toys scattered around the house...but, I honestly love it.  Life is not without it's challenges...but, I wouldn't have it any other way (most of the time).

The Dynamic Duo (Caleb on left, Matthew on right) enjoying a book together.

Sam working on a masterpiece.  The date is incorrect.

..the little boy is wonderful.

Luke celebrated his 5th birthday on March 9th.  I can hardly believe how quickly the time has passed.

   

St. Patrick

The beautiful prayer of St Patrick, popularly known as "St Patrick's Breast-Plate", is supposed to have been composed by him in preparation for this victory over Paganism. The following is a literal translation from the old Irish text:

I bind to myself today The strong virtue of the Invocation of the Trinity: I believe the Trinity in the Unity The Creator of the Universe.

I bind to myself today The virtue of the Incarnation of Christ with His Baptism, The virtue of His crucifixion with His burial, The virtue of His Resurrection with His Ascension, The virtue of His coming on the Judgement Day

I bind to myself today The virtue of the love of seraphim, In the obedience of angels, In the hope of resurrection unto reward, In prayers of Patriarchs, In predictions of Prophets, In preaching of Apostles, In faith of Confessors, In purity of holy Virgins, In deeds of righteous men.

I bind to myself today The power of Heaven, The light of the sun, The brightness of the moon, The splendour of fire, The flashing of lightning, The swiftness of wind, The depth of sea, The stability of earth, The compactness of rocks.

I bind to myself today God's Power to guide me, God's Might to uphold me, God's Wisdom to teach me, God's Eye to watch over me, God's Ear to hear me, God's Word to give me speech, God's Hand to guide me, God's Way to lie before me, God's Shield to shelter me, God's Host to secure me, Against the snares of demons, Against the seductions of vices.