Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster of Motherhood

Today began really early. I made my way to the kitchen at 6:20 and eventually found the coffee maker brewing a fresh cup for me...what a sweet man I live with. :) As I began to drink in the yummy goodness...Brad came to the kitchen to find me drinking the coffee he had brewed for himself. oops. It was early and my judgement was impaired by my lack of sleep the night before (Matthew and Caleb are teething -whopping molars that are so painful).

So, after my cup of coffee and a stimulating conversation with Sam...I made my way to the kitchen to unload and reload the dishwasher. We had dinner guests the last night (a total of 11 people around our table - so fun!)and I ran out of steam before the kitchen was entirely clean. Caleb and Matthew ate breakfast as I swept and sang along with the worship music bellowing from my Ipod. I was feeling good about my productivity...so good that I decided to be bold in my mothering today. I have been praying that I would be a "fun" mom who does creative things with her kids instead of working so hard to maintain "order" in my home and avoid big messes. Heck, who am I kidding? I spend most of my day cleaning up, wiping up, and picking up anyway...what's another mess? Especially when it's all done in the name of creative play.

So, I looked through the pantry and found a bag of rice. I got a cookie sheet for Sam and one for Luke and piled some rice on them. They spent the next 90 minutes creating roads for their cars, burying cars in rice, filling cups with rice and then pouring in out - pretending it was snow, and on and on. They had a really good time. I started to get a little anxious as rice was being spilled onto the floor...it seems as if I sweep the floor non-stop as it is. Then, I just decided I was being a control freak, up-tight, no-fun mom. I put the broom down and PLAYED with my boys. We laughed and had a great time together. When the fun was over (when Luke started to throw it into the air while yelling "whee"), I swept the floor. I put the remaining rice into a bag for our next rice adventure. I was feeling good about things. At this rate, I could be appearing on the next issue of "Family Fun" magazine. {giggle}

We enjoyed a yummy lunch together and even some appropriate conversation (totally avoiding "bathroom humor"). Everyone (except Sam who doesn't nap anymore) went down for a nap quite peacefully. Things were going well...and then Sam was invited to his friend's house (our neighbor) to play. Could it really be possible that I was about to have an entire hour all to myself? This day just kept getting better! {grin} I was almost giddy at the thought of reading a book after cleaning my bathroom. I finished my work and just as I sat down on the couch...Matthew began to cry. I waited to see if he would go back to sleep...but, no luck. It was one of those "OUCH - I am really uncomfortable" sort of cries. So, I went to rescue him. I had hoped that he would drift off again after a little comforting. No such luck. Just a few minutes later, Caleb began to cry. ugh. This had to be some sort of a bad joke! Both boys proceeded to cry and cry for nearly 15 minutes. They are rarely this upset - and certainly never at the same time. It was stressful, to say the least. After much prayer, rocking, singing, and whispering comforting words into their little ears..everyone settled down and we were able to play and have fun again. Whew.

So, this day was a good one and a challenging one, as well. My emotions were all over the place - highs and lows in such a short amount of time. Thank God that He is faithful, forgiving, constant, unchanging, forever-loving, all-knowing, and concerned with me and the smallest of issues in my daily life. I can't imagine being on this roller coaster without Him. Now, I need some chocolate.