St. Patrick

The beautiful prayer of St Patrick, popularly known as "St Patrick's Breast-Plate", is supposed to have been composed by him in preparation for this victory over Paganism. The following is a literal translation from the old Irish text:

I bind to myself today The strong virtue of the Invocation of the Trinity: I believe the Trinity in the Unity The Creator of the Universe.

I bind to myself today The virtue of the Incarnation of Christ with His Baptism, The virtue of His crucifixion with His burial, The virtue of His Resurrection with His Ascension, The virtue of His coming on the Judgement Day

I bind to myself today The virtue of the love of seraphim, In the obedience of angels, In the hope of resurrection unto reward, In prayers of Patriarchs, In predictions of Prophets, In preaching of Apostles, In faith of Confessors, In purity of holy Virgins, In deeds of righteous men.

I bind to myself today The power of Heaven, The light of the sun, The brightness of the moon, The splendour of fire, The flashing of lightning, The swiftness of wind, The depth of sea, The stability of earth, The compactness of rocks.

I bind to myself today God's Power to guide me, God's Might to uphold me, God's Wisdom to teach me, God's Eye to watch over me, God's Ear to hear me, God's Word to give me speech, God's Hand to guide me, God's Way to lie before me, God's Shield to shelter me, God's Host to secure me, Against the snares of demons, Against the seductions of vices.

These Two at Three.

I remember the day well, three years ago (January 25th, to be exact)...my body breathed a sigh of relief and my heart nearly doubled in size when we met our sweet boys.  I can vividly remember being amazed to see that there were two pink little babies...not that I hadn't been aware of the fact that we were expecting twins, but still shocked.  I don't have words to describe how it felt to see those two babies...hard to take it all in.  I can't imagine how mom's of higher order multiples must feel.  gulp.

Bringing them home from the hospital was such an overwhelming experience.  Months of joy, diaper-changing, round-the-clock-feeding, crying (both mine and theirs) and trying to keep our heads above water followed.  Sleep-deprivation left Brad and I in a fog...but, with hearts full of gratitude.  What a gift we'd been given.

Fast forward three years and today things look very different in our home.  We're now the parents of four little boys...not a baby in sight.  Gone are the diapers, we mostly sleep through the night, they are eating non-stop during their waking hours only, and we're coming out of the fog.

Here is what the dynamic duo is up to these days:

Caleb:

• Loves to talk and have conversation.  He loves to make people laugh.
• Eats a tremendous amount of food...yet, still weighs less than Matthew.  
• Some of his favorite foods are: oatmeal, cereal, granola bars, blueberries, bananas, beans, quesadillas, pizza, salad and he always requests a second helping of meat!  Such a carnivore!
• Loves to dance.
• Loves to go to church.  He asks several times a week if we can go.
• Says, "Amen!" with gusto!
• Loves to be tickled.
• Enjoys playing "rough" with his dad and older brothers.
• The library is among his favorite places to visit.
• Has really good manners.
• Screams/squeals loudly when his brothers take things away from him.
• Likes to pretend he is a doggie...and threatens to "slick" (lick) you.
• Almost always identifies himself as Matthew in a picture.
• Loves to ride his scooter and swing on our playground outside when it's warm outside.
• Loves his "Pa" (my dad) and always asks for "my Grace" (his cousin)
• Doesn't like to sit in time out.
• Can recognize nearly every letter in the alphabet (gets b and d confused, struggles with Q), knows his primary colors, can sort things according to size, understands spatial concepts (over, under, beside, etc), can count to 20 (sometimes skipping 16), and sings a ton of songs.
• Melts my heart when he asks to "snuggle up with me" on the couch.
• Weighs in at 31 pounds (80th percentile) and stands at 31 1/4 inches tall (81st percentile).
• Has completely stolen my heart...I'm wacky about that boy!

Matthew:

• Has a quick smile and loves to make people laugh.
• Loves to be tickled.
• Enjoys a good soak/playtime in the tub.
• Likes to pray before our meals.
• Almost always identifies himself as Caleb in pictures.
• Loves to read book and play games.
• Loves to play in the snow and jump on the trampoline in warm weather.
• Shows great remorse when he has hurt someone/broken something.
• Loves to go "bye bye" - anywhere!
• Enjoys fruit, salad, rice, quesadillas, fresh salsa, macaroni and cheese,green beans, and always requests desert.
• Loves to sing and dance.
• Enjoys dressing up and "playing" characters - pirates, buzz lightyear, or a superhero of some kind.
• Loves, loves, loves his daddy.  He is by far the biggest "daddy's boy" in our family.
• Gives the sweetest kisses.
• Recognizes all primary colors, understands spatial concepts, can count to 19,
• Weighs in at 39 3/4 pounds (81st percentile) and stands 35 inches tall (89th percentile).
• Has stolen my heart...I am totally crazy about him.

Happy Birthday Caleb & Matthew! 

To take a peek at their three year old photos, go to : http://stephanielyell.com/blog/2011/02/09/johnson-twins-full-post/

Another First...

We made it through the first Christmas without my mom.  I am learning that this grieving process is full of strange and unexpected twists and turns.  It doesn't always follow the path you think it will.  For example, the weeks leading up to Christmas were so incredibly difficult and complex, in many ways.  Sweet memories of holiday traditions that my mom created for my family were both a source of comfort and pain.  I loved remembering how she did so many special things to create meaningful traditions that served as an "anchor" for our family Christmas each year.  The pain was a result of traditions not created this year with my own family...I had imagined baking cookies with my mom and my boys, making my mom's famous fudge with her, and paying very close attention to how she made divinity - I have no idea how to create this treat that my hubby loves.  I was looking forward to sharing those traditions with my family...and my mom's death has left all of these things undone. I have never celebrated Christmas without my mom.  It feels strange.  There is still joy - after all, the joy of God's amazing gift in Jesus cannot be squelched by the sting of death.  Our boys were full of joy and excitement...and filled my heart with joy, too.  Such tender little ones full of wonder.  The celebration marched on, but in black and white instead of a rainbow of technicolor.  So much left undone...yet, life goes on.

Speaking of undone, there are constant reminders of things left undone.  My mom died at such a young age (only 63) and so unexpectedly.  There are reminders of a life in progress all around our house: a Billy Graham biography with her bookmark at the half-way point,   her "Jesus Calling" daily devotional book lying on the bedside table open the day before she died, projects that we had intended to finish, meals we were going to prepare, and the list goes on and on.  It's painful.

As I grieve, I am keenly aware of how my boys(including Brad) are processing my mom's death, too.  Sam was moved to tears....sobbing...on Christmas Eve.  He knew that Christmas wasn't the same with his "Gran."  It made him sad.  He kept saying, "It's just not the same.  It's not right.  I want her back with me."  Heartbreaking.  Walking through this season of grief with our boys has been the most difficult and tender time.  We've been honest, we've shared tears, we've validated their feelings, and reassured them of God's promises.

At first glance, Luke appears to be just fine...however, he fearful that I will "go away" like his grandma did.  He is never far from my side and is always seeking my affection.  Several times a day, I hear him say, "I am going to marry you, Mom."  "I am never going to break away from you, Mom."  "I don't want you to leave."  "I don't want you to go to Heaven."  I do my best to reassure him that his Daddy and I are doing all that we can to live a long life with him and that going to Heaven isn't scary - but, wonderful!  A few nights ago, we had just finished reading a bedtime story and we snuggle up close for a prayer together.  After the "amen," I hear his soft voice say, "Mom, if there was a fire at our house, would we all go to Heaven."  Poor sweet boy.  I assured him that Daddy loved us all so much that he made our house safe with fire alarms, smoke detectors, and fire extinguishers.  We talked about calling 911 and how firemen and policemen would come help us.  I reminded him of our family's plan to meet at our mailbox out front if there was a fire.  I tried to empower him to do something...equip him with some skills to help him cope.  I am just so unsure of what to say at times.  Grief is complex...the process is different for each of us.

Caleb and Matthew continue to talk about my mom as usual.  I wonder if they think that the 8 weeks she lived with us was like a "long visit" and now she has gone back to Indiana.  They remember things that Gran gave them, books she read to them, and things she said, like "Sweet Dreams" before bedtime.  I pray that they will "know" her through the photos and stories we tell them.  My mom loved them fiercely. 

Sam drew this on the chalkboard in our kitchen.  I love it!

Watching Matthew open a gift.

My dad (in the hat) passing out his gifts to the grandkids, Brad videotaping, Caleb (in striped shirt) apparently pulling his pants down.

So, we have survived yet another difficult "first" without my mom.  Some things were the same as always: gifts, matching pajamas, birthday party for Jesus, and time spent with our extended family.  Many things were very different, her presence was missed....something was "off" with our holiday celebration.  But, God was faithful and Christmas served as a powerful reminder of His goodness.  With God's help, we made it.

2010 Christmas Letter

Matthew, Luke, Sam, & Caleb

Dear Friends and Family,

It has been a year of extreme highs and lows for the Johnson Family.  Among the greatest celebrations was my (Christina) mom’s retirement in late April.  She had worked very hard in her job as the executive director of a lovely apartment complex for retired folks.  She loved her job, but was eager to spend more time with her family.  A few months later, my parents moved to Kentucky.  We were all thrilled to have them close after living far apart for such a long time.  We were enjoying lots of great dinner conversations, lots of laughs, accomplishing a few home projects, and our boys were being spoiled by their grandparents.  It was wonderful.

 My mom became ill very suddenly in late August.  She suffered an acute aortic dissection (essentially an aneurysm of the aorta).  She had emergency surgery and survived three days before she went home to Heaven.  She had enjoyed nearly perfect health all of her life and was a vibrant 62 year old woman.  We were stunned and heartbroken.  Our extended family, our church family, and our friends have loved and served us well ...shining the light of Christ into this very dark time.   The hope of Christmas has special meaning for us this year.  Because of Jesus, we have the promise of forgiveness and a Heavenly home.  We are all stumbling along as we grieve…and are increasingly grateful for a Heavenly Father who is gentle with the broken-hearted. 

Our busy boys have been a source of joy and we’re so grateful.  Sam (7) is excelling in first grade.  He is an excellent student and a well-loved friend.  His imagination is unbelievable, he is funny, and loves all things Star Wars.  We’re most proud of Sam’s growing faith…several big conversations about Jesus have taken place over the past year.  What a precious gift to share with your child.

Luke (4) is enjoying playing the role of “big brother” while Sam is away at school each day.  The twins follow him around and obey (mostly) his every command.  He is a sweet friend to them and enjoys “teaching” them things.  Luke is an incredibly loving little boy and wants to marry his mom when he grows up.  {grin}  He also loves to wrestle, run, flip, jump on the trampoline, tumble, and the list goes on and on.  Luke loves superheroes.

Caleb (2) is the smaller of our twins, by about 5 pounds and a few inches in height.  He is incredibly funny and loves to make silly faces.  He has a very tender heart.   He loves to hug his mom and play with his brothers.  His most favorite activity of all is “wrestling” with his daddy!  Caleb loves music, candy, and his cousins. He has been entertaining us by singing, “Frosty the Snowman” the past few weeks.  While we have learned much about controlling his asthma and allergies, Caleb was briefly hospitalized this fall with pneumonia.

Matthew (2) mastered potty training a few months ago (much to the delight of his parents) and has become a “big boy” in every sense of the word.  He is fiercely independent and can often be heard saying, “I do it by myself.”  I am sure that this will serve him well in the future…however; it leads to some frustration now.  {grin}  Matthew is super snuggly, loves to pretend he is different “characters” (firefighter, daddy, superhero, a puppy, etc...), and enjoys story hour at the local library.  Matthew loves to dance, “play” his dad’s guitar, and does his best to keep up with the big boys. 

Brad continues to work diligently as a student and a teacher.  He is just a few courses away from finishing the classroom portion of his PhD in Biblical Studies.  There are many more “hoops” to jump through after that is finished, but we just take one step at a time.  He is an excellent student and even presented a paper at a theological conference in California last spring.  As a teacher of Biblical Greek, he is loved and respected by his students and colleagues.  In his favorite role of “daddy” he can be found wrestling, chasing, riding bikes, playing in the snow, and reading bedtime stories.  He installed a fence around our backyard this fall – always thankful for “extra security” with the kiddos.  We are outnumbered!

I have come to the conclusion that I am a better homemaker than I am a housekeeper, and I am okay with that!  We love having people over to our home and we do it quite often.  I am growing more comfortable with the fact that our house is never perfectly clean or tidy…but, pray that our guests feel loved and cared for.  My days are spent juggling mothering duties, attending story hour at the local library, volunteering at Sam’s school, trying to keep up with the laundry, and enjoying the occasional date with my husband.  I celebrated my fortieth birthday just a few weeks after my mom’s death…a somber reminder that this life is fleeting and so temporal.  With God’s help, I am learning to love more deeply, anger less quickly, savor each sweet moment with my little boys, and do my best to live well this life I ‘ve been given.  It’s a precious gift.

Each year at Christmas, I am reminded that God chose to reveal Himself to humanity in the form of a helpless little baby boy.  What a strange way to impact the world in such a powerful way – through a powerless infant.  I am so thankful for this strange and amazing gift…and for God’s amazing creativity in providing a savior that I can identify with.  We pray this Christmas you find yourself overwhelmed…not by gifts, parties, and decorations – but, overwhelmed by the goodness of God’s perfect and personal gift.  Jesus.

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”  1 John 4:9-11

My Lukey Boy

 

Our second born son, Luke(4), is quite an amazing little boy.  He is full of silliness, lots of "tricks" and jokes, big warm hugs, smooches for his Momma, questions, a tender heart and an occasional bit of wisdom.  Now that Luke's older brother is away enjoying first grade for a full day, Luke is the "big man on campus" during much of the day at our home.  His mornings are spent playing with his little brothers, reading books with Mom, and entertaining all of us.  While the littlest brothers are napping, Luke and I are working on some school skills.  He loves it and I think I am enjoying it even more.  The learning is fun - he is a bright little guy and it's fun to watch him discover new things.  But, our conversations are what I treasure most about our time together.  I am doing my best to remember them, write them on my heart...I don't want to forget his precious heart and his innocence.  Here are a few recent conversations:

Having measured himself on our family's growth chart earlier in the day, Luke had some questions about growing up.

Luke: Mommy, when I grow up, I am going to shrink back down to be a boy.
Me:  Luke, that sounds like fun.  But, God made our bodies to grow up just one time.  When you are a big man like Daddy, you will stay a big man.  You only get one chance to be a little boy - that is why Daddy and I try to make it so much fun for you.
Luke:  But, I don't want to grow up.
Me:  Why not, honey?
Luke:  Because grown ups drink coffee and I don't like coffee.

The conversation from today was heart-breaking and a precious gift all wrapped in one package:

Luke: Mommy, how did Gran get to Heaven with Jesus?
Me: (pausing to pray that God would give me words)  Well, Luke, Jesus came to carry her to Heaven.  He didn't want her to be afraid, so He came to get her because He knows the way to Heaven and Gran had never been there before.
Luke:  (smiles sweetly)  That's nice.  Can we go pick her up for Thanksgiving?
Me: (fighting back tears)  Oh, Luke, that is such a nice idea.  I really wish we could do that...it would be so fun to spend time with Gran.  But, Heaven is the kind of place you never want to leave.  It's so wonderful and Gran is so happy there.
Luke: Oh, okay.

I am so thankful for this little boy who challenges me as a mother and loves me with a God-sized love.  What  a gift to be his Mommy.

Late Night Gifts

I don't have the emotional fortitude or the energy to blog these days.  I am finding the loss of my mom to be the most brutal experience...yet, there has been such great beauty in this difficult journey.  God has revealed Himself in such powerful and unmistakable ways that it has lightened the load of my heavy heart.  So thankful to serve a God who is compassionate and kind.  I know that I need to blog about the journey, for my own record and for God's glory.  I don't want to forget a single act of His goodness.  Tonight, I was reminded of this truth.

A few weeks ago, two to be exact, Caleb was having some trouble breathing...his asthma had reared it's ugly head.  After a long evening/night in the Emergency Room, he was admitted to the hospital.  We would spend our weekend there - receiving breathing treatments around the clock and spending lots of quality time together snuggling and reading books.  Hospital stays are torture for a little boy who is accustomed to a pretty regular routine...everything is different.  Late Saturday night, as I was drifting off to sleep (I was provided a hospital bed & Caleb had a very institutional looking crib), I heard Caleb's voice say, "Hello."  It was as if he had answered the phone.  I listened closely...and heard him say, "I'm fine."  ....followed by a long pause.....then, he said, "I love you too, Gran.".....long pause......"goodbye."   I was in that in-between state, not fully asleep but not fully awake.  I initially thought he had the cell phone and was pretending to speak to my mom.  So, I got up to check things out.  He didn't have the phone, it was plugged into the outlet near my bed.  I asked him who had he been talking to, he replied very matter-of-factly "my Gran."  I don't know what to make of this...I am honestly not a person who is looking for "signs" from my mom...I know she is in Heaven and is fully surrounded by the Glory of God.  I just don't know what to think of this.  I finally decided to accept this "gift" spoken from my sweet little boy into the darkness of a hospital room as just that - a late-night gift from my Heavenly Father.

Fast forward to tonight, nearly 2 weeks later.  Caleb woke up coughing and crying...in need of his mommy's comfort.  I picked him up from his crib and we settled into the comfy rocking chair in the nursery.  He began to talk ...this is roughly how the conversation went:

Me:  I am sorry you woke up coughing.  Let's snuggle for a little bit until you feel better, okay?
Caleb:  Okay, Mommy.  I was coughing.
Me:  I know, sweetheart.  But you are okay.  Let's pray that God will help you to feel better. (then I prayed a simple prayer asking for God's comfort and healing for Caleb).
Caleb:  Mom, Jesus loves me.  He will take care of me.  
Me: Cal, you are exactly right.  Jesus does love you so much...He will help you to feel better.
Caleb:  Mom, Jesus made Gran feel better.  Gran is with Jesus.  She is so happy.
Me:  You are right, Cal.  She is so happy with Jesus.


So, yet another "late night gift" sent from God from the lips of my sweet little two-year-old boy.  I am so grateful.

"The Lord gives strength to his people; The Lord blesses his people with peace."

Psalm 29:11

 

Grief

My mom died.  It still seems so unreal to me.  The wound is still incredibly fresh and my emotions are raw.  I am convinced that God loves me and will make this journey with me.  In the midst of this unspeakable pain, there has been blessing.  I am hoping to blog about it so that I don’t forget the Lord’s goodness when I least expected it.

 

My niece, Morgan, with my Mom at her retirement party on April 29, 2010.

 

Judy G. Sherrow, 63, of Richmond went home to Heaven on August 28, 2010. She was born September 25, 1946 in Rhodie, Virginia to Lon and Ruth (Dickenson) Hunter. Her family moved to Richmond when she was a young girl and she remained in the area. She was a graduate of Richmond High School.

She married Calvin “Bud” Sherrow on October 7, 1967 and welcomed three children into their family. Judy was a loving wife, mother and grandmother. She was a loyal sister and dependable friend, and was happiest serving others. She enjoyed spending time with her family, making memories with her grandchildren, and gardening. She was a member of The Richmond Emmaus Community and Middleboro United Methodist Church.

Judy lovingly served many children while providing child care in her home for nearly 28 years. She was later employed at the Leland Residence. She served in many roles during her 10 years there and retired from her position as the Executive Director in May 2010. Serving the residents of the Leland brought her such joy.

Judy is survived by her husband, Calvin “Bud” Sherrow and their three children: Jeff (Laura) of Hagerstown, Tony of Richmond, and Christina Johnson (Brad) of Wilmore, KY; brothers Jeff Hunter (Cheryl) and George Hunter both of Richmond, and nine grandchildren: Ashley Sherrow, Morgan Kincaid, Zackery Sherrow, Grace Sherrow, Lillee Sherrow, Sam Johnson, Luke Johnson, Caleb Johnson, and Matthew Johnson. She is also survived by many cousins, nieces, and nephews. Judy was preceded in death by her parents; her sister, Connie Hunter; her brothers, James Hunter, Tom Hunter, and Merle Hunter; and grandsons Dylan Sherrow and Austin Sherrow.

A celebration of Judy’s life will be held at First United Methodist Church at 318 National Road West in Richmond on Saturday, September 4^th at 3:00 pm. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Gleaner’s Food Bank at 3737 Waldemere Ave. Indianapolis, IN 46241 or www.gleaners.org.