Life.

If the boys didn't sleep...I don't think I would blog at all!  The days seem to be so full and I have more duties than energy to complete them.  This is the story of every mom's life, right? {grin}

  

The day seems to go by in a whirlwind of activity.  Then, when the boys are all in bed and the house is quiet...I collapse into a heap on the couch.  If I am fortunate, my hubby sits next to me and we watch something mindless on TV and chat about the events of our day. 

     Brad has been working in the evening...trying to keep up with the many classes he is teaching this semester and ministering to his students.  The house is a mess.  The toys strewn about the house are evidence of a hard day's work by our little boys.  The messy kitchen is evidence of a meal prepared with love and shared around the table by our tribe.  There is a pile of books near the rocking chair in our living room...further evidence of how this momma spent her afternoon.  Sam has a new chapter book from the library resting on the table near the couch...evidence of the independent reader he has become.  The evidence is everywhere....they are signs of life in this place.  This is what makes this house our home.   

     The pace of life is hectic...but, so incredibly rich.  We're blessed.  Brad has a job that he has been called to and he enjoys his work.  He is blessed to work with some amazing colleagues and students who challenge and inspire him.  We're parents to four healthy, happy, rambunctious little boys who are growing in stature and in faith.  The laundry is never done, the kitchen is always littered with dirty dishes and crumbs on the floor, and there are toys scattered around the house...but, I honestly love it.  Life is not without it's challenges...but, I wouldn't have it any other way (most of the time).

The Dynamic Duo (Caleb on left, Matthew on right) enjoying a book together.

Sam working on a masterpiece.  The date is incorrect.

..the little boy is wonderful.

Luke celebrated his 5th birthday on March 9th.  I can hardly believe how quickly the time has passed.

   

It Was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

The blog title & the above photo say it all - yesterday was rough. I even considered moving to Australia, just like the children's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Bullet points may be helpful...it was intense (at least from the mom's perspective). {grin}

• All four boys started sneezing, running fevers, and spewing snot in mass quantities late Tuesday afternoon. The babies are whining like mad and the big boys are grouchy.
• Sam had mild "night terrors" Wednesday night...calling out, rolling around in his bed - but, still sound asleep. He woke Luke up more than once. Neither of them got good sleep (their mom didn't either).
• After lunch, Sam & Luke were playing in the living room. Luke pushed Sam and it hurt his feelings. He was laying on the couch trying to explain to Luke that he didn't like to be pushed...when, Matthew bonked him on the head with a plastic mug he had stolen from the kitchen table. A large, purple, painful looking goose-egg appeared on Sam's forehead. He was obviously in pain, tired, and frustrated. The tears flowed. I scooped him up and sympathized with him...and then a crying Caleb began to crawl up on Sam. Caleb got frustrated that his climb wasn't easy - and he pinched Sam. Sam howled. He was just frustrated beyond words. Caleb and Sam were crying...Luke & Matthew were watching in horror. {grin}
• I told Sam how sorry I was and that Caleb didn't intend to hurt him. It was as if a flood of emotion broke in his heart...he began to cry, saying, "I just want you to hold me. Pay attention to me, not a baby." His words pierced my heart...and I fought to hold back my own tears. Sam clung to my neck so tightly as his heart broke. ugh. It was bad. I quickly prayed and then began to tell Sam all of the reasons I love him. I told him that his Daddy & I do lot's of things to show him how special he is: special "dates" with only him, breakfast with daddy each morning before anyone else is up (they are both early risers), our special "school time" when the 3 little ones are napping, reading books and praying together each night, etc...
  
• Caleb continued to cry while I was comforting Sam. Sometimes I just wish I had more arms for holding little ones or could clone myself for just a bit (I mean seriously, two of me would be a bit much) {grin}.
  
• All of this happened as I was trying to get the twins ready to leave for an appointment with our pediatrician (18 month old well visit). It was chaos and I was overwhelmed.
• Poor Brad came home from work to stay with the big boys (he is such a good man) and found us all in a mess! I finally peeled Sam off of my body and managed to get the little men loaded into the van. I began to cry as I pulled out of our driveway. Nasty thoughts like, "You will never be able to meet their needs. There isn't enough of you to go around. Why did you have all of these children if you can't care for them?" began to fill my mind. I sobbed...and then, I prayed. As I prayed, I was reminded that Satan is a liar - and he was whispering lies in my ear about my mothering. Each boy has been a gift from God to us..and I am the God-chosen mother to each of them. I called my friend, Granola Mom, and left an unintelligible message on her answering machine. I babbled something about praying for me and being under spiritual attack. What a great message to receive! {grin} I chatted with my dear friend, Deb, and she reminded me of God's truth about who I am and how He loves me. Deb had the wisdom to tell me that Sam was just expressing the cry of everyone's heart - notice me, pay attention to me, love on me. God soothed my heart and I managed to pull myself together before I arrived at the pediatrician's office.
  
• While waiting for the doctor to arrive in the exam room, the nurse was asking a few questions about Caleb & Matthew. As I answered, I undressed Caleb and then let him toddle around the room. He walked across the small room to look out the window. He bent down to look at something on the floor, and hit his eye on the edge of the window sill. He burst into tears and I scooped him up. The nurse noticed he was bleeding. She went to get the doctor...and 20 minutes later, our doctor arrived. We've always been pleased with the care we've received - but, I thought this was a bit long to wait under the circumstances.
• After cleaning the wound, she determined that stitches weren't necessary. She applied 6 steri-strips (looks like small pieces of tape to hold the wound closed). The cut is deep but very small.
  
• Sweet little Matthew sat silently in the stroller while the doctor and I tended to Caleb. Not a peep out of him the entire time. I kept looking at him and giving him a reassuring smile. He just grinned in return and waved to me. {melt my heart}
• Matthew was examined and she found he had a double ear infection. So, no immunizations for them since they were both feverish and feeling badly.
  
• Aside from the eye gash and ear infection, both boys are healthy and growing along just fine.
• We came home to find that Sam was much happier after a two hour nap (he gave up napping nearly 18 months ago).
  

I am often asked, "How do you do it?" I hear people say, " I don't know how you do it. I could not do what you do." The truth of the matter is...we can't do it. I am not gonna lie, there are times when I think I am going to lose it (my mind, that is). Raising our four little men ages five and under is a challenge at times. I am learning that we simply can't do it alone. This may not be such revelatory news to most, but I need to be reminded from time to time. I am a get'r done kind of gal...just buck up and do it. But, we can't do it alone by God's design...we aren't intended to live alone, do it alone, or be without a community. God has designed us to be in relationship with Him, rely on Him, use His strength rather than our own, and to trust Him to do what He says He will do. It was a rough day, but God is still so good.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped."
Psalm 28:7

Missing Miss Phyllis

I remember the day all too well...exhausted from lack of sleep, yet deliriously happy with the two new little men in my life. Brad and I determined that we were simply overwhelmed and we needed help. This was not an easy conclusion for us to arrive at. You see, we are proud people from the Midwest - when times get tough, you buck up and get it done. However, the reality of 4 little boys who were 4 and under and a husband who was a student, a full-time employee, and also had a part-time job on the weekend was just too much. We were crying, "Uncle!" God was peeling away another layer in the "self-sufficiency" costume we were wearing...and teaching us once again what it means to live in "community" with other believers. So, we finally gave in and asked for help. We talked and prayed...and then prayed some more...and then posted an e-mail on the seminary's website to hire someone to help us.

Only two people responded to our "want ad" - and I was honestly a little disappointed. I really thought we needed to have a few more options...ha! God knows just what I need and I am so thankful that He doesn't take my opinion into consideration when caring for me. I don't know what I need as well as He does! :) Turns out that we only had one option (the other person was looking for more hours per week)...the God-chosen option for our family. Brad and I invited Phyllis to our home for a conversation...to learn some more about her and to let her see our family "in action" so she could learn some more about us! She came, she saw, and we were shocked when she agreed to take the job! She was exactly who we prayed for...a wise woman who was older than us and had more parenting experience than us, a woman filled with the "joy" of the Lord, and a woman who was "at home" in our madness - nearly impossible to "ruffle her feathers." {grin} God knew just what we needed...and He provided.

The twins were just a few months old, Luke was a baby himself having just turned 2, and Sam was an eager-to-learn 4 year old. It was a madhouse. We were feeding and changing Caleb and Matthew around the clock and getting very little sleep...and trying to keep up with Sam and Luke during the day. Enter Phyllis....she never laughed when I answered the door in my pajama's and my hair uncombed. I loved her immediately. {grin} Over the next year, she would change many diapers, clean my kitchen more times than I can count, love my kids, play CandyLand until Sam didn't want to play anymore, encourage me in my mothering, share God's promises just when I needed it most, pick up toys, encourage me to take a nap, send me out the door to shop for groceries alone while she cared for all 4 of my kids. Phyllis became our "breath of fresh air" during those early months of having 4 kids ages 4 and under. When she arrived - we all sort of breathed a little easier. She was only at our house a few hours a week, but it was just enough to make everything seem better. {grin}

Miss Phyllis graduated with her Masters in Pastoral Counseling a few weeks ago and move back to her home and her family in Georgia. We all knew the day was coming...but, just didn't have the courage to face it. I cried like a baby...you know, the ugly cry where your face gets all twisted up and you have to wipe your nose a lot. I think I was so emotional because I was going to miss my friend...but, even moreso because I was so overwhelmed at God's goodness to me. He saw my need...and sent a gentle, loving friend to help me out. Miss Phyllis will forever have a special place in my heart.